


Mission: Improbable

by cptxrogers



Category: Avengers Assemble (Cartoon)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Pining Steve, everyone is bi because of reasons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 18:56:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11191311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cptxrogers/pseuds/cptxrogers
Summary: Tony is called on to investigate strange events which have been occurring in the upper echelons of society recently. There's just one small issue - he needs Steve to pose as his date for the evening.





	Mission: Improbable

**Author's Note:**

> Only 4 days to go til Avengers Assemble season 4!  
> To celebrate, here's some fake dating fun times.

“You want me to do _what_?” Steve was certain he must have misheard.

“Date me,” Tony said with a cheeky grin.

Steve felt his cheeks heating. “Well gosh, Tony-”

“Just for one evening!” Tony interrupted. “I’ve got an important mission, and I need you to pretend to be my date.”

To _pretend_ , Steve thought, with a rush of something that could have been relief. Of course. Why else would Tony be asking him on a date?

“Um. Why?” he asked, trying to affect nonchalance.

“An old friend tipped me off that something strange is going on in the high society circles she moves in: a rash of people suddenly giving away their fortunes or dropping out of the social scene entirely. Could be mind control, could be magic, could be good old fashioned extortion,” Tony shrugged one shoulder. “But something’s up, and there’s no one more observant than Ms. Van Dyne. If she says it’s fishy, we ought to check it out.”

“Right, then we need to investigate.” Steve nods. “But this involves us pretending to date because....?”

“There’s a society party that the key players will be at next week. I’ve been invited to attend, but in a non-Avengers capacity. The invite said I couldn’t bring the team. But it did say that I could bring a date - and it didn’t specify who that had to be,” Tony smiled mischievously.

“Wouldn’t Natasha be better suited to this kind of mission than me?” Steve asked, trying to maintain an air of casual professionalism.

“I really can’t see Nat and I making a convincing couple,” Tony said with a small shudder. “You know what black widows do to their mates, right?”

“I heard that, Stark,” Natasha called from the other side of the room. “And I’m frankly delighted to hear that you’re too terrified to even pretend to date me.”

“What about Clint? Why don’t you take him?” Steve asked, struggling not to sound desperate.

“Clint at a fancy party? Yeah, like that wouldn’t be a disaster.” Clint stuck his tongue out at them, thereby demonstrating Tony’s point rather neatly.

“Sam?”

“I’m twice his age. Absolutely not.” (“You’re too gray and wrinkly for me anyway, old man!” Sam called out in response.)

“Thor?”

“Again, not sure that the thunder god and the squishy mortal are a believable couple.”

“.... Hulk?”

“Geez, Steve. You really don’t want to do this, huh?”

Steve opened and shut his mouth, trying to think of a good excuse. The problem was not that he didn’t want to go on a pretend date with Tony. The problem was more that he wanted to go on a real date with Tony. He wanted that rather a lot, actually. He wanted to share a meal with Tony and hear about his inventions and his ideas, to see how he looked when he was happy and relaxed and not worried about work, to know what his lips would feel like...

“I wouldn’t ask if it weren’t important,” Tony said earnestly. “And it’s not as if you’ll have a problem being seen dating a man.” Tony indicated the BI PRIDE shirt that Steve was currently wearing.

Sam gave Steve a thumbs up from where he was perched at the breakfast bar. “It’s a good shirt,” he called over.

“Umm,” Steve had definitely run out of excuses by now, and his team needed him. He would just have to put aside his silly feelings for Tony and focus on the job. He was pretty practiced at that by now anyway. “Sure. Okay then. Tell me when and where.”

“Aww, shnookums, you’re the best,” Tony gave him a tiny wink. Steve already wanted to die.

 

* * *

 

On the day of the event, Natasha took pity on Steve and helped him choose a white tuxedo from the tower’s copious shared closet. Steve tugged at the hem of the jacket awkwardly. “Don’t you think it’s a bit… much?” he asked when she lead him over to a full length mirror.

“You’re supposed to be Tony’s date,” she said with a twinkle in her eye. “I’d be more worried about whether it was enough.”

The way she was smiling suggested that was a joke, but Steve had found a whole new set of worries now. He was still dithering around trying to select cuff links which suggested the impossible combination of ‘sophisticated yet understated’ and ‘someone stylish enough to attract Tony Stark’ when Tony walked in.

Tony’s eyes went wide as he took in Steve.

“It’s the outfit, it’s all wrong, isn’t it?” Steve babbled. “God, sorry, I’ll try to find something else to wear-”

Tony walked over and looked him and up down. “No need, darling,” he said with a hint of velvet in his voice. “You look absolutely perfect.” And then he took Steve’s hand and pressed a very gentle kiss to the back of his knuckles.

Steve froze for a second and tried not to panic. Natasha rolled her eyes as she swished out of the room. “You’re really going to have to work on keeping that blush under control if you want people to buy that you’re a couple,” she called over her shoulder.

“Ehh, don’t listen to her,” Tony said. “I love making my dates blush.”

 _Oh god_ , thought Steve, his cheeks glowing, _this was going to be a disaster_.

 

* * *

 

The party was held in a staggeringly, overwhelmingly, intimidatingly opulent mansion. The front porch had marble columns covered in ivy, where a serious-looking man was checking names off a list and letting people in.

Tony laid a hand on Steve's arm. “We only need to listen to some gossip and gather information on the recent incidents. Don't worry, it'll be easy.”

As if anything was ever easy when Tony was involved. Right now, all Steve could think about was the warmth on his arm where Tony’s hand was on him. But there was a mission to see to, so Steve strapped on his game face and gave him a firm nod.

Tony strolled up to the door confidently. “Tony Stark, with his plus one,” he announced them.

“ _This_ is your date?” the doorman asked Tony, sounding surprised. Steve felt his hackles rise. Why shouldn’t Tony be attending a party with a man? If he gave them any trouble-

The doorman looked Steve up and down, assessing. “ _Specimen_. Watch out or I’ll be after him for myself,” he said, giving Tony a wink. He turned to Steve. “If you get bored of this guy,” he indicated Tony with a cheeky head tilt, “you’re welcome to come and hang out with me.”

“Watch it,” said Tony with a grin, sliding his arm around Steve’s shoulders as his ears went pink. “This one’s all mine.”

 

* * *

 

They had been circulating around the party and had already overheard several conversations about people going missing or behaving strangely. And each story had one figure in common: a glamorous blonde woman calling herself Amora had recently entered the lives of each of the victims.

Now they were mingling and trying to stay on the lookout for Amora herself. According to the now very friendly doorman, she had been invited and was expected to arrive later.

Steve tensed as he saw Justin Hammer swaggering towards them, wearing a shiny purple silk suit with gray accents that even Steve would have described as tacky. Of course he would be here. Just their luck.

“Tony!” Hammer called, and Tony tried to hide behind the largest nearby object - which in this case was Steve. “I see you, Tony!”

Tony sighed and slunk out from behind Steve. “Try not to punch him, okay?” he whispered to Steve as Hammer approached.

“Justin, a delight as always,” Tony said, almost convincingly.

“For me as well,” Hammer said smugly. “There’s never a better time to look stylish that when you’re confronted with your lowly competitors.” He pretended to brush a speck of dust from the shoulder of his stupid purple suit.

Tony scowled.

“But I see you’ve turned yourself out nicely too,” he indicated Tony’s flawlessly cut black tie ensemble. “Putting on a show for a hot date, is that it? Where is the lucky lady of the evening anyway?”

“Actually,” Steve cut in firmly. “I’m here with Tony tonight.” Steve took a quick breath and slid his arm into Tony’s.

“Oh, I _see_ ,” Hammer said knowingly, and Steve thought for a moment that Hammer was going to make a scene and he was going to have to sock the guy. That wouldn’t be the worst feeling in the world, but it might be rather a blow to their mission.

“It’s about time, that’s all I have to say,” Hammer continued, oblivious. “The Cabal had a betting pool going on how long it was going to take you two to get together. Attuma will be so mad when he hears - he was convinced that you were secretly dating this whole time.”

Steve gawped. What on earth was he supposed to do with that information?

Tony laughed and patted Steve’s hand where it sat in the crook of his arm. Steve absolutely did not wobble.

“Tell Attuma it serves him right for trying to drown us,” Tony said. “And now, oh look, over there, someone who isn’t you who I just _must_ go and talk to.” He dragged Steve away and they left a scowling Hammer behind them.

 

* * *

 

They managed to identify Amora by following the excited whispers of the fellow partygoers that escalated once she arrived. Apparently she was a recent addition to the society scene, but she had already made quite the name for herself.

She was standing across the room from Steve: a tall, striking woman with long blonde hair that seemed to twinkle in the light. She wore a fitted dress covered in tiny green sequins which refracted the light into thousands of tiny sparkling points.

She looked otherworldly, as if she had stepped out of a painting or a legend. The overall effect of her was stunningly beautiful, but even from a distance Steve could tell that her eyes were cold and calculating.

The crowd around her didn't seem to mind. A host of men and women fawned over her, complimenting her outfit and offering to bring her drinks, vying for her attention.

Every time Steve and Tony tried to approach her, though, she somehow melted into the crowd. She would disappear and pop up minutes later in a different corner, surrounded by another group of adoring followers.

 

* * *

 

They chased the woman around the party for an hour, but failed to get anywhere near her. Then, as suddenly as she had arrived, she was gone. Steve grimaced in frustration. They decided to ask around to see if anyone knew where she was from.

While Tony was trying out his charms on an older widower to get information, Hammer corned Steve by the bar.

Steve steadied and reminded himself that he had survived a world war, freezing in ice, alien invasions, and the Hulk’s morning breath. Surely he could survive a nosy Justin Hammer.

“About you and Stark-” Hammer began, and Steve’s mind ran through all the worst possibilities: that he must know they were faking, he’d reveal their charade, the mission would go to hell. But Hammer continued glibly. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to out you to the press or anything.”

Steve opened his mouth. “Uhh. Thanks?”

“I know it’s not easy. I had hoped that one day, Tony and I might… but never mind that. I’m happy for you both.”

“Uhh,” said Steve again. “Thanks.”

“But you better treat him well, you hear me? Or next time we meet, you’ll have the full wrath of Hammer Industries to deal with.”

“Right. Yes. I’ll remember that,” Steve said. “Now, oh look, over there, someone I have to talk to...”

 

* * *

 

By the end of the evening, they had established that Amora had been working her charms on people for three weeks now, persuading them to give up their families, homes, friends, or fortunes as she commanded. Every person affected seemed undistressed - in fact, they were positively delighted to do exactly as Amora asked - but they were clearly being influenced. Despairing of finding anything more useful, Steve and Tony decided to call it a night.

As they were leaving the party, Tony patted Steve on the arm. “You did good,” he said, though Steve was pretty sure that he was lying.

Tony was smiling though, looking all soft and happier than Steve had seen him in a while. And he really was ever so handsome in that suit. Steve took his hand as they stood in the cool night air.

Just at that moment, a flash popped from somewhere near them and they heard footsteps running away from them in the dark. Steve leapt to the ready to give chase, but Tony merely gave a tired sigh. “Paparazzi,” he said distastefully. “There goes our chance of keeping our newly blossoming romance on the down low.”

 

* * *

 

The next morning, the picture made the front page of the newspaper.

 _HEROIC ROMANCE???_ The headline screamed. _IRON MAN AND CAPTAIN AMERICA IN SECRET SPANDEX TRYST?_

Beneath was the photo, the two of them standing close in the moonlight, hand in hand. Tony was smiling up at Steve and Steve was gazing back at him in a way that looked, frankly, somewhere between ‘adoring’ and ‘hopelessly smitten’.

Clint grinned as he tossed the paper down on the breakfast table. “Good job, guys! You wanted to convince everyone that you’re dating, then this is gonna do it. How’d you know when the pap photographers were gonna get you though? You must have set up that moment perfectly.”

“Right. Yeah. We got lucky, I guess,” Steve said.

“Hey, Tash, check out this photo! Look how well they staged it,” Clint waved her over.

“Mmm,” Natasha said, giving Steve a Look. “What lovely staging. What fine actors they both are.”

 

* * *

 

That afternoon, things looked up when a giant purple box tied with pink and blue ribbons arrived at the tower.

“Alright!” Sam announced cheerfully. “More cookies from my mom!”

The team cheered. Sam’s mom’s cookies were truly legendary. But when Sam checked the attached label, he pouted. “According to the label, they’re not for me,” he said. “They’re addressed to you two.”

Steve realized that Sam was looking at him and Tony. He took the box and opened it to find neat rows of cookies, each one iced pink at the top, with a thin stripe of purple in the middle, and blue at the bottom. There was a handwritten note inside, which read: _I saw the news and I’m very proud of you both. My congratulations and have a Bi-eautiful day!_

Steve was still beaming when the Hulk bounded through the door.

“COOKIES!” he exclaimed.

“Pride cookies,” Sam corrected. “In recognition of the work Tony and Steve have done representing the LGBT community.”

“HULK WANT COOKIES.”

“They’re not for straight guys like you, Hulk,” Sam said patiently.

“PFFF,” Hulk replied loudly. “HULK NOT BELIEVE IN ENFORCING RIGID HETERONORMATIVE PATRIARCHY. ALL LOVE IS PRECIOUS. ALL GENDER IS PERFORMATIVE. HULK IDENTIFY AS PANSEXUAL.”

The team stared.

“WHAT? WHY YOU LOOK AT HULK LIKE THAT? HULK READ JUDITH BUTLER.”

Steve shrugged. “Fair enough,” he said, and handed the Hulk a cookie.

 

* * *

 

Thor came by the tower for a visit, and his face was grim when they described the woman at the party to him.

“Amora, here in Midgard? This is most ominous.”

“You know her?” Steve asked.

Thor nodded and looked wistful. “She is of Asgard, and was famed there for her beauty and her magic. There was a time when she and I were close, but she wanted something from me that I could not give. She was most displeased, and her wrath has been fearsome ever since.”

“An Asgardian with a grudge,” Tony said with a sigh. “That’s not great.”

“Friend Anthony, friend Steven, you must proceed with great caution. Amora is a formidable adversary and she can be quite dangerous when cornered. If you continue to investigate her, you must do so covertly.”

“So... “ Tony glanced over at Steve. “Looks like we’ll be continuing our dating charade for a bit longer. I’ll see if I can snag us an invitation to the next party.”

 _Another opportunity to make a fool of myself at a fancy party_ , Steve thought sourly. _Oh joy._

 

* * *

 

Steve was most definitely not hiding. That would be ridiculous. It just so happened that he’d had a lot of training to do in the few days since the party, and all of it had to be done here in the tower. For public safety reasons.

Tony, of course, had been out and about like nothing was amiss. He seemed to shrug off the intrusive questions about his personal life that he was peppered with every time he was out in public with a easy that astonished Steve. He’d had plenty of practice, Tony had explained one evening, but he had looked a bit sad about it.

“Couldn’t you break up with me?” Steve asked, poking dejectedly at his breakfast eggs.

“And be the man who broke Captain America’s heart?” Tony asked with a dramatic hand to his chest. “The world would never forgive me.”

Steve sighed. At least Tony seemed to be having fun with this whole fake dating business. Steve was trying not to be uptight, but some of Tony’s offhand comments were hitting distressingly close to home.

“What are you up to this afternoon? Let me take you out to lunch,” Tony offered. “There’s this incredible dim sum place nearby, and I know how you feel about Chinese food.”

Steve couldn’t deny that was a tempting offer: exciting new food and Tony, two of his favorite things in the world. But he dithered. “I don’t know, Tony, do you really think we should be going out in public together after those photos in the paper?”

“Eh, if I stopped what I was doing every time I was featured in the gossip rags, I’d never leave the house. Come on, sweetheart,” Tony said with a broad grin. “What’s the point of being a millionaire if you can’t treat your best guy to a meal now and then?”

Steve’s heart absolutely did not do a little flip at that.

 

* * *

 

The dim sum proved to be as good as Tony had promised, and Steve was happily chowing through his third portion of spring rolls.

“Oh, these are _tasty_ ,” he said with gusto. The rolls came with a little pot of dipping sauce that was sweet and spicy and hot all at once, and it was the most delicious thing Steve had eaten in some time.

“Here, you have a little-” Tony gestured to a smudge of sauce on Steve’s cheek, then laughed as Steve batted at his face and failed to clean it off. _Dammit, Rogers, try not to cover yourself in food on your date. On your fake date. Your non-date._ Tony smiled softly and took his napkin, wiping away the sauce from Steve’s cheek.

A middle aged woman in a fur coat and an enormous amount of gold jewelry strode over to their table.

“Can we help you, ma’am?” Steve asked politely.

“Yes,” she said snippily. “You can stop parading your lifestyle around for everyone to see.”

Steve felt Tony tense next to him, but he was merely confused.

“Our… lifestyle?” he asked.

“You and him,” she spat, waving to indicate him and Tony sitting close together. “How am I supposed to explain that to my child?”

Steve glanced behind her and saw a small boy sat at a table, looking embarrassed.

Tony went to move away, placating her. “We don’t want to make any trouble-” he started.

“Oh, hang that,” Steve said firmly, taking Tony’s hand with confidence. “You can explain to your child that one of the wonderful things about the modern world is that people are free to love whomever they want. You can tell him that some people date women and some people date men, and some of us even date both.”

She looked incensed.

“And you can tell him,” Steve raised his voice enough to carry over to the young boy, “that if anyone ever says that there’s something wrong with two people being in love, they can take it up with Captain America.”

Then Steve leaned over and boldly kissed Tony on the cheek.

The woman was spluttering with fury. The little boy gave Steve a big grin and a thumbs up from behind her.

“Come on, Raphael,” she snapped at boy, storming off, “We’re leaving.”

 

* * *

 

“Sorry about that,” Tony mumbled as they walked back to the tower. “I guess some of the world isn’t quite as forward-thinking as I’d like them to be.”

“It’s not your fault, Tony,” Steve said.

“We can stop, if you want. This whole ‘dating’ thing, I mean. You didn’t sign up to be heckled by busybodies regarding your dating preferences.”

Steve pulled a face. “Those people are only exposing their own bigotry. I couldn’t care less what they think. I’d be proud to call you my boyfriend. I’d want to tell the whole world about it.”

That came out a bit closer to the truth than Steve intended, and Tony was looking at him oddly. Oh dear.

“-If I was dating a man, any man, I mean,” he clarified quickly. “If this were real. If that was how I actually felt. If it wasn’t all fake.”

Tony was still looking at him strangely.

 _Smooth, Rogers,_ he thought, and resisted the urge to jump into a dumpster to hide.

 

* * *

 

The next opportunity they had to investigate Amora was a garden party being thrown by a rich socialite. Tony’s friend Ms. Van Dyne managed to score them a couple of invites, and Thor loaned them a divining rod which could detect when Asgardian magic was nearby. If Amora showed up, they’d be ready to track her.

For the party, Tony was wearing a pair of snappy rose-pink linen pants and a matching wasitcoat, with a jaunty little straw boater hat perched atop his head. Anyone else would have looked preposterous in that outfit, but Tony somehow managed to look both elegantly sophisticated and utterly adorable.

Steve felt distinctly underdressed in a pair of plain chinos and a pale blue shirt when they arrived to see an entire field decked out with tents, pavilions, color-coordinated bunting, and elaborate flower arrangements. Steve wasn’t aware that garden parties could be this posh, and he quietly added ‘trying to avoid getting grass stains on your white designers shoes while _standing in a garden_ ’ to his mental list of things about the future which were decidedly odd.

The divining rod which Thor had given then had been bouncing around, indicating several people who were currently under magical influence. But there was no sign yet of the spellcaster herself. They tried to subtly make a perimeter of the party, but they attracted the attention of several burly men who were working security. They managed to duck into a catering tent to hide before they could be identified.

As they retreated back towards the crowd, Steve realized that they were still being followed. A number of men had broken off from their positions around the field and were observing them closely. They were going to need to lose them quickly, or to fight with whatever they had to hand.

 _At least this is familiar_ , thought Steve. He wasn’t great at parties, but fights, those he could do. Of course, that was when Tony turned to him.

“Kiss me,” Tony said urgently.

“Wha?” Steve burbled.

“Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable. Kiss me.”

Whatever else he may have been dealing with, Steve was fundamentally a professional. The mission came first. And if the mission required him to kiss Tony Stark, most handsome man in the universe and the most distressingly unobtainable, then Steve would step up to the plate.

Out of the corner of his eye, Steve saw figures scanning the crowd and searching for them. He took Tony’s face in his hands, took a deep breath, and kissed him.

Oddly enough, it all felt very familiar, as if they’d done this a thousand times before. Tony’s arms went around his waist, and he tilted his head for a better angle. _I better really sell this if the mission depends on it_ , Steve thought, and deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue into Tony’s mouth to taste him.

Before Steve had the chance to worry about whether that was appropriate, or if slipping the tongue to your co-worker in the middle of a mission was a distinct no-no, Tony actually groaned and pulled him closer. He didn’t seem to be too concerned about Steve’s breach of undercover etiquette.

Either that, or he was a terrifically dedicated actor.

Steve backed Tony up against a jauntily decorated pavilion, pressing their bodies close. They fit together perfectly, Tony warm and firm against him. Tony’s lips were soft but insistent under his, his fingertips squeezing against his waist.

When Tony finally pulled back and heaved in a breath, his lips red and kiss-swollen, Steve couldn’t stop smiling at him.

“Do you think we lost them?” Tony asked.

“Lost who?” Steve asked breathily.

Tony gave him one of those looks and Steve remembered with a jolt that they were supposed to be undercover. Right! The people who were searching for them, who they had to hide from. Camouflaging themselves with the clever use of kissing.

Tony glanced around. “I think they’ve moved on. We can get back to work now.”

“Are you sure?” Steve asked, a little too quickly. Perhaps the men might still be around. Perhaps might come back. Perhaps they’d need to hide by kissing some more.

Tony’s eyes narrowed and he looked like he was about to say something. But then he shut his mouth and shook his head to clear it. “Pretty sure. Now come on, we’ve got an angry Asgardian to catch.”

 

* * *

 

They still hadn’t located Amora, but the divining rod lead them away from the party and towards a small clearing.

Tony crouched down and picked up something which was glinting in the grass. As he stood, Steve could see that it was an amulet: a long gold chain with a large green emerald in an ornate gold setting. It was giving off a faint glow.

Tony pulled a face. “I can’t scan it for radiation without my suit,” he said, “but I’d recognize the queasy feeling of magic anywhere. This is the source of the spells that are affecting everyone, I’m sure of it.”

Steve concurred, feeling the slightly slipperiness in the air around him, almost like oil, that he associated with magic. “Let’s destroy it and set these poor people free. I’m ready to be done with this ridiculous mission,” he said firmly, worrying that he was going to do or say something terribly embarrassing in front of Tony if they had to play at being a couple for much longer.

He could have sworn that Tony looked almost disappointed for a moment. “Whatever you say, Cap,” he said, tossing the amulet to the floor and stamping on it hard.

Green light shot out from beneath Tony’s foot for a moment, and there was a terrific shattering sound.

Several people in the field stopped what they were doing and looked around in confusion, asking where they were and how they had got here. It seemed like their plan had worked, and the spell had been broken: Those who had been under its influence were coming back to themselves, looking around for friends and partners. Steve sighed in relief.

“You impudent fools,” a female voice bellowed from behind them. “You may have destroyed my amulet, but you have no idea of the extent of my powers. Now you must face the wrath of… Amora the Enchantress!”

They turned to see Amora, her hand upraised with green energy crackling from her fingertips. Oh dear. Tony was without his armor, and Steve was without his shield. This was not good.

“How dare you meddle in my plans,” she called out to them. “I am a goddess! What hope do you lowly mortals think you have of beating me?”

“We may only be mortals,” Steve called back, steeling himself. “But we’re here together, and that gives us strength.” Tony smiled at that.

“You couples,” she said disdainfully, looking down her nose at them. “You think your relationship is strong and pure, but every courtship has its deceptions and lies. Let your darkest secrets be revealed!”

She waved her hand in a complicated motion and green energy shot out from her hand towards the two of them. Steve tried to deflect it with a drinks tray he had grabbed as a makeshift shield, but the energy passed straight through it as if it were nothing.

When the energy surrounded him, Steve was surprised that it wasn’t painful. It was almost pleasant, actually, like a warm cocoon. The green tendrils spread through his mind, and he felt himself relax, to begin to smile. Everything was fine. He felt safe. He felt like he could say whatever was on his mind.

“Now,” Amora said imperiously. “You will tell me the truth. I will hear of every cruel thought you have and every shameful indiscretion you have committed. Tell me how you really feel about each other.”

“God, he’s wonderful,” Tony said immediately. His eyes were glassy and his voice was faint, but Steve heard every word. “Meeting him was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Amora’s nose wrinkled in dissatisfaction. She turned to Steve.

“He’s the most brilliant man I’ve ever met,” Steve heard himself say. “He’s brave and kind and smart and handsome. _So_ handsome. He’s everything that’s wonderful about the future.”

Steve saw Tony’s eyes widen, even through the magic-induced haze.

“You must have lied! All couples lie to each other,” Amora screamed, increasingly angry. “Tell me what you have lied to each other about!”

“I pretended that I didn’t have feelings for him for a long time,” Tony said sadly. “I enjoyed our missions together far more than I should have.”

“I never told him how much I care about him,” Steve said, the words leaving his mouth without his brain engaging at all. Everything felt soft and mushy. “I think about him all the time, but I don’t want to make his life difficult if he doesn’t feel the same.”

“Oh my gods,” Amora snapped. “I can’t believe I’ve been saddled with the one couple in this stupid realm who actually like each other!”

“Amora,” a booming voice called from above, and Steve looked up to see Thor, floating in mid-air, his armor glinting in the sun and his hair haloed around his face, looking every bit the thunder god that he was.

“Thor!” Amora gasped, apparently even more impressed by his appearance than Steve was.

“Let my friends go, Amora,” Thor said calmly. “There is no need for violence.”

“Easy for you to say, Thor,” she yelled up at him. “Since you left Asgard I’ve been trapped here in this terrible realm, all alone. Everyone else here has friends and lovers and I have nothing. I have no one!”

“Is that why you cast spells on all those people? I understand that it’s easy to manipulate mortal minds, but you don’t have to use magic to make friends,” Thor said earnestly.

“They wouldn’t invite me to their parties,” she wailed. “Me, a goddess! Turned away at the door from their little gatherings! So I used a few spells to make them appreciate me as I should be appreciated. I didn’t hurt anyone. Not much, anyway.”

“If you wanted company, you could have asked me. I would have been happy to accompany you to a party,” Thor said.

“But you hate me,” she said, quieter now. “You would never want to spend time with me.”

“Not so,” Thor said firmly. “You are of Asgard and thus you are like family to me. Perhaps I cannot love you in the way that you want. But I should dearly like to be your friend.”

Amora looked up at him, hope in her eyes.

“Let Iron Man and Captain Rogers go,” Thor said gently. “And we may explore this friendship together.”

Amora glanced back at Tony and Steve. She pouted. “They were no fun anyway,” she said, snapping her fingers. The green energy instantly dispersed and Steve felt his mind clear.

“Good,” Thor beamed at her and he indicated the fairground area in the party below. “Here is a valiant warrior’s challenge which the Midgardians call SKEE-BALL. We could practice our skills together. I would be honored if you would join me in this game.”

Amora gave a tiny smile and nodded. Thor swooped down, pick her up, and they flew towards the games together.

That left Steve and Tony, standing alone in the middle of a field and desperately trying to avoid each other’s eyes.

“Was that… what you said, was that true?” Steve asked, his heart hammering inside his chest.

“We were under a truth spell, weren’t we? So, yup, all true I’m afraid,” Tony said, looking at his feet.

“Well then I owe Amora a big thanks. I never thought you’d feel the same.”

Tony glanced up at that, face disbelieving. “Say, Steve, would you like to go on a real date with me some time?” he asked nervously.

Steve felt his face break into a massive grin. “Why, Tony, I thought you’d never ask.”

**Author's Note:**

> This story is posted on tumblr over [here](http://cptxrogers.tumblr.com/post/161782420069/mission-improbable) if you'd like to share it!


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